Make It Later
by teamfreewill82
Summary: Hi, all of you fictioners out there. I'm back with another fic; I know, I know, I just posted stuff. BUT writing is my life, sooo... :) Here's a bit more of Dean's thoughts, I suppose. Please read and review. :) Love always, teamfreewill82. (Edited)


**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything relating to it except my fics. **

Hi! It's me again, with my second fic for this fandom. I hope you liked the first one, and this one as well. As always, review, if you please. Thanks a bunch, y'all.

**Make It Later**

_So everybody gets a little slice of paradise. _

_Pretty much. A few people share–special cases. What not. _

_What d'you mean 'special'? _

_Ah, you know, like–soul mates. _

He wasn't really too sure how it had happened. Of what he remembered, his end hadn't really been all too peaceful. There had been a girl, young, he thought. She'd been in trouble. A werewolf had murdered both of her parents, and she was next.

_The brothers burst into the room. The werewolf has the girl cornered, her eyes pulled wide in fright. The boys were ready for it. They circle it. While it focuses on the elder brother the other charges at it with a dagger. In his exhaustion Sam is slower than usual, and the werewolf is able to turn on him; it throws Sam to the ground, unconscious. Dean, watching this happen, yells at the girl to run. Terrified, she follows his order, and Dean faces the thing alone, his eyes darting furtively to his still-lying brother for any back-up. But Sam was out. The werewolf backs Dean into a wall, his gun raised, and as he pulls the trigger, the thing swats it aside, the shot harmlessly cracking the wall opposite itself and the hunter. Dean's eyes widen in his panic just as the creature grabs him. He grimaces at it, his lips parted painfully, and he feels the thing tear at his chest__**–**_

Any way it had happened, he knew it had. That's _all_ he knew, along with the fact that Sammy was alright. That's what Cas had said. Dean had woken up in the Impala, like he had once before, and this time, Cas spoke to him from the passenger seat when he'd woken up. He was startled to see Cas, and did not understand what was going on. Where was Sam? The werewolf? But Cas explained it all and assured him everything was fine. Well, except that… except that Dean was dead. Dean had given him a look but, upon remembering what had happened last time he had died, stopped. He really was dead. He'd asked Cas to go back, but Cas–_Cas_–had squirmed in his seat, appearing uncomfortable. "What?" Dean said. "What is it, Cas?"

"Dean," the angel said after a moment, "you're dead." Dean tilted his head. "Thank you, Cas. Now what's going on?"

"Dean, I can resurrect you, or… You see, everyone has their own Heaven. But in special cases–"

"Yeah; I know. Soul mates. Cut to the chase, Cas," Dean interrupted, frustrated and impatient. "You can choose to remain here, sharing a Heaven with your soul mate–besides your brother of course." Dean was silent as he stared at his friend, then cleared his throat. "And who would that be?" Cas glanced down for a moment before raising his head to see Dean, his blue eyes bright even in the darkness of the car. "Joanna Beth Harvelle." Across from Cas, understanding blossomed on the hunter's face. "It's Jo, Dean."

Dean couldn't find words, his eyes glued to the steering wheel of the '67. "You serious?" Dean eventually said in reply, his tone incredulous in his disbelief. Cas nodded. "Assuredly." Dean breathed out. "You mean to tell me I can either live, or stay with Jo, here, forever? Does–" He hesitated. "Does she know?"

Cas shook his head. "I did not think it would be very–thoughtful of me to tell her. If you declined the offer to remain with her…" Dean breathed out a faint, humorless laugh. "As if I could…" He looked to Cas. "But Sam. Sam's goin' through tough shit, Cas. I can't just–leave him, be selfish like that. He works hard for me, to be there for me. If I leave… he'll go insane."

"I understand that this is a double edged sword, Dean, but you have to make a decision." He paused and a pregnant silence filled the space. Sending one last concerned look Dean's way, Cas said, "I'll be back." When Dean again looked to the passenger side, the angel was gone. He huffed, running his hands through his hair carelessly.

How could he be expected to make this–this literal life altering decision in what was all of ten minutes? Stay with Jo and be happy but feel guilty about leaving Sam, or go back to the land of the living and feel like crap because he, again, missed his chance to be with Jo Harvelle.

If he stayed, he'd get to see her beautiful smile every day, her sparkling eyes. They'd talk all night about everything they never got to know about each other. He'd get to hold her because he _could_. If she wanted him to, that is. _I wouldn't hate it… _He could tell her… he could tell her how he'd been feeling without her, how he'd felt _about_ her, for so long… Living without Jo had felt like his heart had been branded with an iron, and when it had become partially healed, that bastard Osiris had seared it anew with Jo's ghost, the pain as raw as if she'd died minutes before, leaving the flashback of her death pounding through his head like a cavalry.

_It wasn't like that. _

_No feelings. None at all. You would have chosen the same exact road. Ended up in that hardware store, holding the fuse._

Dean leaned his head back against the seat, feeling hot, angry, tears form in his eyes. Why did he always have to make these shit decisions? He couldn't choose one existence without screwing over someone he loved, without screwing himself. He needed Sam. And he'd learned to live without Jo hadn't he? The thought burned his mind, like a betrayal.

He missed her. God, did he miss her. But Jo was in her own little Heaven, probably with her parents, all of them happy and together, like they deserved. Like _she_ deserved. She had been dead the day she'd met him. She was better off without him in her–well, eternity. Sam… He was the here and now, his _brother_, his brother who hardly slept at night because of that son of a bitch Lucifer. He needed Dean, now more than ever, to keep him from completely falling apart. He hadn't spent his life caring for Sam just to leave him high and dry for selfish wants. She'd died so he could live. No. He couldn't stay. Dean closed his eyes, almost able to feel Jo's lips so lightly pressed to his.

_I'll see you on the other side. Probably sooner than later._

_Make it later. _

He had to let her go. "Cas. I know what I have to do. Send me home." There was silence for a moment where all was still, and then a flash of light where all the air seemed to be pushed from Dean's lungs.

"Dean! Dean, wake up!" he heard. Sam? He sounded panicked, and Dean tried very hard to open his eyes. They felt so heavy… "Dean! Wake up, man, come on! Please!" Dean did. He forced his heavy eyelids to lift, and, though blurry, could make out Sam. His brother was kneeled beside him. He was sprawled out on the carpet, the werewolf's decapitated body in front of him. "Dean! Thank God!"

"What–what happened?" Dean murmured, his throat dry. "I woke up as that thing grabbed you, man! It was gonna kill you but I got it before it could. The pain, though… it knocked you out. You've been passed out cold for like two minutes, barely even breathing," Sam told him, his eyebrows pulled together in worry. "Don't move, okay? I have to call the hospital." Dean managed a nod. "Yeah." What the hell had happened? He didn't remember anything except being attacked, then waking up at that moment. His brows furrowed, Dean tried to think, to make himself see in his mind what he'd been dreaming, of sorts. But nothing would come.

"I thought you were dead, Dean," Sam said, approaching him and resting on his knees once more, his phone in hand as he waited for the hospital to answer. "I'm fine, Sam. I'm fine," his brother murmured, staring at the floor. He glanced to Sam and tried to smile. "And you know," he continued to change the subject, "if you'd been getting sleep, Sam…" Sam looked at him. "Yeah. Yeah, an ambulance, please, to 53 Meadow Drive. My brother, he was attacked by a dog when we were walking by an alley near our friend's house. I got him into the house but–" He nodded. "Okay, great, thanks so much." He hung up and looked back to Dean. "It's killing you, man. Sooner or later, Sammy, you've gotta get some sleep."

Sam smiled mirthlessly. "With Lucifer in my head, I'm betting he's gonna make it later." Something in Dean's mind shifted. He knew of the last words he and Jo had exchanged, but… it was more than that. His head hurt and he couldn't think through his fatigue. "We'll work it out, Sam," is all he said in quiet reply. "Move the body."

_Make it later…_


End file.
